Hilde Hay Psychometrist - Hilde Hay Psychometrist

Happily ever after: A guide for the princess who picked the wrong prince

So you’ve picked the wrong prince.

I told you so, says Mom. Being married to the wrong prince is a predicament she knows all too well. She was hoping to protect you from similar misery. But you were blind. Until the blinkers fell off and there, at your dinner table, sat a frog. Now you have time-share, a bond, a few children, property jointly owned with in-laws, and a school reunion coming up. What to do?

Gatvol gebraai

Ek’s 'n regte Suid-Afrikaner. As die son Saterdagaand water trek, dan soek ek ‘n houtvuur en ‘n wyntjie. Ek wil braaibroodjies eet terwyl die wors op die kole sis. Ek wil lag en gesels en trane afvee oor sinnelose goedjies en diep sake, terwyl die naguil se roep my geanker aan Afrika hou. Maar deesdae raak ek lugtig. Of dit die drank of die donkerte, vrees of gewoonte is weet ek nie, maar alte dikwels, om ‘n braaivleisvuur, moet ek teen wil en dank luister na die een of ander half-besope rassis, wat met passie sy ondeurdagte opinies oor die regering en sy landgenote lug. Regtig? Hoe is dit oukei?

The ouch in boundaries: How respecting myself can put others off.

I’m an avid supporter of boundaries. Without them, one runs into all kinds of problems. One problem is the resentful feeling that your life is being steered by others – which it probably is! Another is that you become totally un-profound: no opinion, no fire, no impact. Without boundaries, one blames others for your inauthentic life.

Step 1 to a joyful life is… Uhmm, anyone?

Last night, I got a voice note from a friend.

“Hilde, you’ve got to tell me how you do it. I’m so jealous. I wish I could just go away by myself like you do, just up and leave. I really need to figure that out. Teach me!”

Of course, I don’t ‘just up and leave’ whenever I want to. What mother, wife, worker, employer can do what she wants, when she wants to, all by herself? But truth be told, now and again I do take off and go fill my cup. Sometimes for an hour, sometimes for a few days. I got that she envied that. And I truly wanted to give her some profound words of advice. So I started typing my response.

There's a psychic in my bed

Personality types have always fascinated me. Mostly, of course, my own personality. How do I relate to people? How do I respond in conflict? How do I show love? To what extent do I include others in my life? In short, who am I, really?

I can tell you all about the MBTI, the Big Five, Jung, 16PF, and many other well-researched personality assessments. Nothing much wrong with them. But I have discovered the best one of them all. It is spot on. Brutally honest. As balanced or unbalanced as you are. It accurately describes your light and your shadow sides – a spectacular display of your very best and very worst characteristics.

Hallelujah, I'm super-average!

I had always been special. Born to parents who lived in the public eye, in a generation and community where the public eye was all that really mattered, I understood the importance of applause. Lucky for the small, special me, my older siblings did not buy into the pleasing-others scenario. Or if they did, they didn’t pull it off. Whatever the reason, I got centre stage as I wooed my way through years of extraordinary eisteddfods, exams, and badges.

Of course I was lonely and miserable.

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What people say:

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The retreat was a gift each women should give to herself! Hilde provided a place to relax, to forget all the petty annoyances of life, a place to re-connect with your own self, and a place to grow. I have learned so much. Hilde, I can’t thank you enough for your amazing hospitality and warmth.

I’m so happy to have been part of this wonderful retreat.

Chantal, Knysna

"Hilde's session went beyond career guidance. It gave Nandi insight into an inner compass that will guide her for life."

Lucia, Pretoria

Hilde’s guidance and feedback regarding the evaluation of our candidates were invaluable. Her patience and positive energy in structuring the session beforehand made it very personal for our business and business-model. Today, two months down the line… the results are phenomenal, on all levels. It is exactly what we needed. A huge “THANKS” for your help!

Johan, LiveTheJourney

I was a bit sceptical about retreats, as I am not what you’d call a spiritual person, but with three other friends, I decided to give it a try. I attended Hilde’s 4-day The Healing Voice of Silence retreat. What a fabulous experience it was ! There were nature walks, bicycle rides, yoga, art, group exercises and meditations, we learned new breathing techniques, AND we had time to be quiet and rest. Everything was provided for, delicious and healthy meals as well as basic but comfortable accommodation...

I think that what has made this retreat so worthy and fulfilling is Hilde. She is a person full of love and she radiates positive and nurturing vibrations. She knows what she is doing and where she wants to lead you, but it is always gentle and subtle.She has got a well balanced, soothing voice, very pleasant to listen to. She’s always considerate towards the people who attend the retreat and you feel she wants the best for you. You also experience how much the retreat has been carefully planned and how much work she put into it. You feel rewarded realising that you have made a significant progress in spirit. I’m so glad I tried your retreat, Hilde!

Colette, Nice, France

Aidan’s career guidance was very helpful for both him and for us as parents. Although he knew what direction he wanted to go, the process he went through managed to convince us that he was on the right track. He is much happier with his subjects now and his marks have improved noticeably. He was also made aware of more career options. Aidan was rather apprehensive about spending time alone with an adult that he did not know, but Hilde made him feel so comfortable that he ended up enjoying the process.

Deryn, Knysna

We’ve been using Hilde’s services for over 9 years now. She is professional, prompt and well-qualified. She meets the complex requirements of our industry with correct and market-related feedback. Hilde far exceeds our expectations!

Tienie, BME

Hilde walks her talk. Being on a retreat with her drew me closer to my essence and left me well rested and in a more comfortable place with my humanness

Karin, Sedgefield

“Die klein, intieme groupie is nice. Ek het regtig gemaklik gevoel om te kon deel, maar ook net te kon luister. Nooit gevoel ek is ‘op die spot’ gesit nie.”

Erica, Johannesburg

Wow, Hilde, die retreat was 'life changing'. Om net vir 'n dag of twee weg te breek van al die ‘moets’ en verpligtinge van vrou-wees en mamma-wees was so 'n seëning. Ek het dit ook waardeer om tyd saam met ander vrouens te spandeer wat soortgelyke uitdagings het en om met hulle idees en gedagtes uit te ruil. Dankie vir al die sinvolle praatjies en lekker gesels. Duisende dankies vir jou positiewe insette en jou omgee. Dit was wonderlik.

Esmeri, Oudtshoorn

“Scenery, personal growth and relaxation in one package… Food, venue, MWAH! Information was powerful and stimulating.”

Janet, Johannesburg

I can highly recommend Hilde’s career guidance. We found her to be very thorough and her calm nature made my son feel very much at ease. The feedback was informative and helpful and gave us a few other options to consider that we had not thought about. She has a very efficient process that she uses which was really accurate in terms of my son's interests. It is a great process to consider for anyone unsure about what path to take.

Nicky, Knysna

“Dit was amazing – elke gesprek, elke stilte, saamwees en kuier, trane en onophoudelike lag het dit so spesiaal gemaak.”

Leonie, Johannesburg

When your teenage son says to you
“Thanks for organising this for me Mom - it was really super”
then you know you are onto something good!
I highly recommend this career guidance for both your child and you.
Not only did we get an idea for future careers but we also gained invaluable insight
into his personality traits!

Lyndall Hill

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